shameless care

So, I will begin by saying that my husband and I experienced care in the most shameless (or shameful, depending on how you look at it!) ways one time from our Life Group and it has left a lasting impression. If you know my husband, John (affectionately called "Canada" or "Woody"), you might know that he is not the most organized of beings. Well, for that matter, neither of us are organized! So, there was one particular Sunday that our Life Group showed up at our house and all that they asked for were the keys to Woody's car. After an hour and a half of excavating old food remains and dirty laundry, my husband had a clean car and those guys had many laughs and the feeling of accomplishment. So, it all goes to say that you can provide care in the easiest of ways for folks and it can shamelessly go a long way with the love felt!

created for community

Whether we understand or believe it, we all crave relationships. And, it's not just the kind of relationships where you see people in passing. We crave relationships where we feel known and know others.

Whether we understand or believe it, we all need community. And, not just the type of community where we "hang" out. We need community where there is a frequency in contact and a reciprocation of genuine concern for one others's wellbeing.

Whether we understand or believe it, we all have the capacity to care for others. And, not just the type of care where you ask what you can do after a crisis and then quietly walk away. We are all capable of being the Christlike hands and feet to nurture each others' wounds from the world and celebrate the victories that come in various seasons.

Whether we understand or believe it, God first cared for us and created us for community.

Thoughts and practices

Helping develop friendships in your LifeGroup can often be a challenge. Sometimes, simply hearing a few good ideas from other leaders is all it takes to get the creative juices flowing. Leave a comment below to let us, and other leaders, know the strategies that have worked to connect your group.

My group likes to hike (see above. Marc, Andy, John, Sean, Richard, Drew)

Friendship and Community

Everyone desires to know others and to be known. It is wired in our DNA. Yet, it is much easier for some to accomplish this goal than others. Sometimes, we meet people and instantly we feel some kind of connection that blossoms quickly into friendship. Other times we meet someone and over a long period of time a friendship slowly begins to form. Have you ever examined a friendship and wondered where was the point in time that this person went from being just an acquaintance to being a friend? What caused that friendship to blossom? Sometimes it is just being together and realizing you really enjoy each other’s company. Other times it may be a shared experience that bonded you together. As Suzanne shared at the huddle, it may even be a result of God telling you to spend time with someone you are not really excited about getting to know. However, over time you begin to accept the person for where they are today and believe in them for what they can become which is the bridge to friendship and love.

When my husband and I decided to lead a couples’ lifegroup we were so excited about meeting new people and developing friendships. The first meeting we expected 7 couples. I spent the afternoon baking and cooking. The house was clean, candles were lit, and the presentation of food looked and smelled great. Soft music was playing in the background and we knew it was going to be a great night. Ten minutes after the announced starting time the first couple finally arrived. They planned to arrive late because they did not want to be the first people there. We struggled through small talk and were relieved when the second couple arrived. The wife was charming but the husband hardly said a word. The first guy became more and more socially awkward as the time ticked by. No more couples ever arrived that evening. Over time we gained an odd assortment of people. Everyone was nice but the group definitely had not jelled. I talked one of the women into being care champion and prayed the social would help the group click. When she told me she wanted to plan a bowling night, I admit I was skeptical. I just couldn’t imagine this group of people wanting to bowl, but her enthusiasm was contagious and honestly I was just thankful I didn’t have to plan it. Amazingly, we had a ball. The most experienced bowler who looked great throwing the ball had more gutters than anyone. To his utter amazement, the woman who was afraid to break a nail and whose ball barely made it to the pins kept getting strikes and her cheerleader jump and squeal was almost as funny as the guy’s bewilderment when she got a turkey. As we joked and laughed people’s walls came down. Everyone had so much fun we bowled an extra game and at the end of the night people hugged good bye and their excitement about next week’s group was evident. It was the turning point of our relationships and opened the door for community to flourish. A core of us stayed together over the next 3 years. We celebrated pregnancies, mourned miscarriages, prayed for jobs and illnesses, and created some beautiful memories. However, nothing compared to the joy we all felt when one of the guys announced he had finally accepted Christ. John Ortberg states, “to experience community is to know the joy of belonging, the delight at being known and loved, the opportunity for giving and growing, the safety of finding a true home.” Although it was a rocky start, I think we would all agree it was well worth the risk!

How to spend a rainy day

It was in a hotel room in Asheville, NC on a cold, rainy weekend. My grand plans to run, hike, bike, or otherwise be outside were ruined by the steady, pelting rain. The ceremony was prepped for and one can only practice the homily so many times. One way or another, the ceremony would go off, the couple would be married this time tomorrow. So here I was, the balance of a day to spend in some pursuit suited to this type of situation.

Reaching into my bag, I pulled out one of the books I was working my way through. I just happened to pull out 'Blue Like Jazz' by Donald Miller. Being most of the way through the book, and having enjoyed what I had read so far, I settled myself on the generic hotel couch to read some more.

It was in a hotel room in Asheville, NC on a cold, rainy weekend that I was confronted with the difference between love and the imitation-love I had learned how to practice. Miller speaks of our tendency to use love as a commodity; something given, withheld, and traded based on the nature of the object. If a person performs acceptably, they earn love. Do something that offends or I don't like, no love for you.

Love is not a commodity. Christ doesn't use it that way. He tells us to love even those people who deserve our suspicion, wrath, or vengeance.

"You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty." Matthew 5:43-47 (MSG)

How are you doing at that?

Are you loving those in your LifeGroup?

Are you challenging them to love each other?